Overcoming Emotiphobia….

(This post just goes to show what happens when a grown man spends a day on the couch watching ‘The Holiday’ and ‘Jerry Maguire’ back to back!)

My Chacha is a sweet man. In spite of having seen many a rainy day in his life, he still isn’t bitter with the cards he was dealt with. He has this thick outer crust which few could penetrate, to get to his tender heart (including a pretty damsel from Khalsa College!). I have seldom seen him senti which I believe he regards as a sign of weakness. But that is where his kameena bhateeja gets into the picture.

His office is a small hall with the largest 'per square meter density' of computer geeks I have come across, typing frantically on their computers and attending phone calls in English laced with phoney accents. Whenever I visit him, no matter how heated our debates/ discussions are, when I reach the door on my way out, I turn back to say, “Whatever Chachu, I still love you!”. I purposely make it audible enough such that more than a handful of his colleagues take notice and pass a sly smile looking at him from the corner of their eyes. One grown man expressing his adoration to another…it makes him cringe! While his cheeks flush with embarrassment, I leave with a grin so wide, my cheeks hurt for hours later.

There seems to be an unsaid rule amongst men, that expressing one’s feelings is a feminine trait. In spite of being a diligent student, I seem to have missed the class in which that was taught. To make up for our so-called ‘emotional handicap’, we follow universally employed/ acknowledged lists of gifts (this one is applicable for women and is 'Very Confidential’):

1) A box of chocolates

2) Bouquet of flowers

3) A holiday

4) A romantic dinner

5) Jewelry

6) Soft toys

7) A card from Archies

8) Agreeing to go for dance lessons

9) A long drive followed by…….hmm

10) Crystal show pieces (the ‘Taj Mahal’ being the most popular item!)

11) Sexy lingerie (WARNING: Should be gifted with great caution!)

etc ……………………………..

Most guys I know are extremely ashamed of getting ouvertly emotional at the movies. It was a moment of pure ecstasy, when I found myself in the seat between Chachu and Dad when we went to see ‘Taare Zameen Par’. Towards the end of the movie, I could hear muffled sobs and see teary eyes as both stared at the screen trying to avoid each other’s sight in vain. That’s what I call one big emotional family!!! It’s a whole different story that by the time we reached the parking lot outside, they were vehemently denying anything of the sort happened, to their respective wives. When I suggested otherwise, I was given an intimidating stare (Y tu Brutus!)

I doubt that a little display of emotions erodes the machismo or the ‘mardangee’ of a man. If anything, it makes the man come across as warm and caring (Refer ‘Aman’s survey on Male EQ-2008’). An incredibly pretty girl recently told me that she finds such men incredibly sexy. So all the Papas, Chachus, Bhaiyas out there, rather than choking on those feelings, let your tears flow….You never know when it might be your lucky day!!!